It’s Friday evening. I just had that kind of week. And I am freaking the fuck out. 

So what do I do? 

I start with tidying up my stuff. Okay, maybe if I can organize things better, I will feel better, right? Bring the outside into the inside, right?

Wrong. The statement I made to myself this morning “you know, I think I’m actually overwhelmed, not anxious” has as much relevance now as my frantic attempt to gain internal peace through external order.

I put a bunch of stuff on buy nothing, add a few never-claimed items to the Goodwill pile. And that’s when I see it: my birthday unicorn piñata from almost 2 years ago. Perfect.

The set up is tricky. I’m renting my place. I can’t wreck it. Well, even if I owned the place, I still wouldn’t wanna wreck it. The light fixtures are all too weak. What about command hooks? I find an arch between the living room and the kitchen. This is where it will happen: There will be confetti. 

First attempt: command hook is set. Between the broomstick, the rosebud stick, and the Ikea table leg, I chose the latter. Here we go. Oh, this feels good. Oh, this is fun. Oh, I broke the command hook. Shit.

Second attempt: a metal command hook this time. And placed on the wall rather than the arch after careful study of the laws of physics (or maybe it was empirical evidence). 

Here we go again. I swing my makeshift bat. I didn’t realize I would have so much fun wrecking something that looks so cute. Candies start flying everywhere. Confetti is being made. A stronger swing and a leg is ripped. More candy and confetti falls on the floor, along with my knees as I collapse, howling. 

What a mess that is life. What a mess that is me. What a mess that is a human. I feel like a warrior. I feel like a wounded woman. But a powerful woman. I get back up. Gotta finish what I started. There will be confetti.

Two more swings and it is done. The mess has been made. Hanging from the successful command hook is the unicorn’s head. I step on candy. “Awesome” I think. I grab a two year old sour patch and indulge. 

Life is sour, life is sweet. Life is both, and everything else. And more often than not, there will be confetti.